


not broken, still lovely

by deplore



Category: Kuroko no Basuke | Kuroko's Basketball
Genre: M/M, guest appearances by Kuroko and other Miracles, mentioned Kuroko/Momoi
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-06-25
Updated: 2015-06-25
Packaged: 2018-04-06 04:10:33
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,738
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4207386
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/deplore/pseuds/deplore
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Akashi and Kagami go out on dates sometimes, but are not dating.</p><p>Alternately: if a writer, in the course of telling a story, makes a point of strongly emphasizing the existence of a sentimentally important vase, you should probably assume it will be broken at some point.</p><blockquote>
  <p>“Do you want to go out on a date with me,” Kagami repeats, and then as an afterthought: “Please.” </p>
  <p>“I was under the impression that you find me somewhat intimidating, difficult to deal with, and too used to getting exactly what I want from people,” Akashi says. “And that you have been permanently mentally scarred by our first meeting.”</p>
  <p>Kagami visibly winces. “Uh, well, yeah,” he admits. “But I, um. I think you’re considerate in a weird way and you’re… really good at a lot of stuff, which I admire… and I like your face.” </p>
  <p>Since grade school, Akashi has received a variety of love confessions using many different tactics. Even still, Akashi can say for certain that this is the most inelegant confession he’s ever received. It is, regrettably, also the first confession that’s actually rendered him speechless.</p>
</blockquote>
            </blockquote>





	not broken, still lovely

**Author's Note:**

> I apparently wrote this over a year and a half ago and gave up just shy of completion, which is pretty common for me. I'm resolved to salvage these barely-incomplete works in progress over time. Thanks for reading and I hope you enjoy.

Kagami asks Akashi out a few weeks after he graduates from university in the United States and returns to Japan. It is one of the few moments in his life that Akashi is taken completely by surprise — though, in retrospect, Akashi supposes he should have seen something shocking coming based upon the fact that Kagami had invited him, alone, to meet at a coffeeshop for lunch and ordered a spiced tea, turkey sandwich, and tomato soup. A meal that balanced is most unlike Kagami Taiga, from his experience. “Come again?” Akashi asks politely, setting his cup of coffee down.

In response, Kagami gives him a pained look as if to say _oh come on, don’t make me say that again, it was hard enough the first damn time_. “Do you want to go out on a date with me,” Kagami repeats, and then as an afterthought: “Please.”

“I was under the impression that you find me somewhat intimidating, difficult to deal with, and too used to getting exactly what I want from people,” Akashi says. “And that you have been permanently mentally scarred by our first meeting.”

Kagami visibly winces. “Uh, well, yeah,” he admits. “But I, um. I think you’re considerate in a weird way and you’re… really good at a lot of stuff, which I admire… and I like your face.”

Since grade school, Akashi has received a variety of love confessions using many different tactics. He’s read quite a few poems on the color of his hair and intensity of his gaze. During his time as a high school student, he’d received enough boxes of chocolates on Valentine’s Day that he purposely spread a completely false rumor that he was allergic to them. Most individual incidents have faded in his memory, but there was one girl in the second year of middle school who came up with a visual flowchart of reasons they would be a compatible couple — he had found the argument to be quite compelling, if not terribly romantic. Even still, Akashi can say for certain that this is the most inelegant confession he’s ever received.

It is, regrettably, also the first confession that’s actually rendered him speechless.

“Okay, I’ll take that as a no,” Kagami says awkwardly. “I guess I’ll just… go now.”

Akashi grabs Kagami’s wrist across the table before Kagami can get up. “I’ll e-mail you a list of acceptable restaurants within your price range. Pick one and tell me what nights you prefer,” Akashi tells him. “To be entirely clear, I am not saying that I intend to commit to a relationship. But a date... would be fine.”

Kagami beams.

  
  


 

* * *

 

 

 

Their first date is at a French restaurant and their second at a Japanese one. For their third, Kagami invites Akashi over to his place to cook dinner for them (and works up the nerve to kiss him good-bye at the end of it). Naturally, then, their fourth is at Akashi’s house.

Akashi's never _needed_ to know how to cook, but he's made a point of mastering a few basics in his time, and feels quite confident in his ability to stir-fry, season something and stick it in the oven, use the toaster, use a pressure cooker, and boil things for the generally recommended amount of time to produce something palatable. Rather than trying to show off with skill – he doubts strongly that he can top the veritable five-course meal that Kagami put together for him – he decides to rely on a few, simple mainstays of his culinary ability, and puts together a hotpot for the both of them, with plenty of tofu, meat, and seafood balanced with a good ratio of vegetables. To make things seem more ceremonious, he even sets it up in the dining room rather than his kitchen table.

It's a very convenient choice of dinner, because neither of them fight over what foods they prefer: Akashi likes tofu, Kagami likes meat, both of them are decently fond of seafood, and Akashi uses his chopsticks to forcibly shove vegetables into Kagami's mouth until he's satisfied that a well-balanced meal has been had by all. Akashi, as usual, draws the line at verbalizing that he enjoys it (the food, the company), but he realizes partway through that he's been smiling an awful lot more than usual, and tries to not think about it too hard.

As they wrap up, Kagami helps him haul the dishes and bowls to the kitchen. While they're walking there and back, Kagami points to a decorative vase, and says, “That's really nice.”

Akashi knows without looking which vase Kagami’s talking about: it’s a gift that was kept for him from his mother and her mother before, vaguely antique and extremely sentimental — besides the fact that the vase is quite beautiful to begin with. Akashi has frequently and publicly waxed poetic on its lovely shape, the high quality of the porcelain, its lovely red lacquer, the intricacy of the golden dragon winding its way across the stem — so on and so forth, until he came to the inevitable realization that whoever it was he was talking to had long tuned him out and was merely nodding at opportune moments to feign interest. So this time, he merely says, “My mother handed it down to me.”

“Oh,” Kagami replies, staring at it a little longer. “I guess it means a lot to you, huh?”

“Yeah,” Akashi agrees, and leaves it at that.

 

 

  
  


* * *

  
  


  
  


The Friday afterwards, Akashi runs into Kuroko and immediately gets the feeling it is no coincidence that they happened to meet, because feels a little too much like Kuroko might have been waiting for him. “Akashi-kun,” Kuroko greets him, tilting his head slightly. “You wouldn’t happen to have a few minutes, would you?”

“I can make time for you,” Akashi answers, so they settle down on a bench in a nearby park.

For a while, they sit in silence, watching a pair of children run back and forth, chasing each other. “You know, Kagami-kun likes you quite a lot,” Kuroko finally says.

“I am aware,” Akashi replies evenly. “I happen to be marginally fond of him, too.”

“From what I have heard from him, you were a lot of help to him when he was studying in America,” Kuroko continues.

Akashi raises an eyebrow. “Yes, well. It was _you_ who recommended that he ask me for academic assistance, wasn’t it?”

For some reason, Kuroko looks mildly miffed. “Akashi-kun is good at explaining things in a simple way, which works well for people like Kagami-kun,” Kuroko explains, even though both of them know Akashi wasn’t looking for an actual answer. “If anything, I was surprised you agreed to help.”

“I couldn’t have somebody who beat me at basketball fail out of one of America’s strongest basketball colleges, it would be like losing and then getting slapped in the face,” Akashi replies. “And he at least tries, which is more than I can say about some other people we both know.”

Kuroko hums in affirmation. “Kagami-kun _does_ try,” he agrees.

“Kuroko, if you are here to give the stereotypical _do not hurt him or I will hurt you speech_ ,” Akashi says, tired of beating around the point, “please feel assured. I have no intention of playing around with his feelings on purpose, and I’m certain that there would be a line of people vying to be the first to inform me if I did it on accident.”

“No, I was going to say that I think Kagami-kun is good for you,” Kuroko says, turning to stare him in the eyes. “But from what I understand, you haven’t clearly said whether you intend to fully commit to a relationship.”

There’s a long pause before Akashi sighs and tilts his head up towards the sky. “That’s really something, coming from you, Kuroko,” he replies.

“I have no idea what you mean,” Kuroko says, rather bluntly. Akashi decides not to push the point, because in the revisionist history of Kuroko and Momoi, the two of them have had mutual feelings for each other since middle school. Factual corrections on Kuroko’s six years of ambiguity towards her before they finally got together in college are not appreciated.

Akashi sighs sharply. “I’ll think about what you had to say,” he says, in a tone that clearly is meant to end the conversation.

“I won’t keep you around any longer, then,” Kuroko replies politely. Akashi walks away poised, but with a foreign feeling like sinking in his chest.

  
  


 

* * *

 

 

  
  


The issue dwells upon him more than he’d like to admit. Akashi dislikes irrational, emotionally-driven reactions, and yet he finds himself texting Kagami to cancel their date on Saturday (a Disney movie night at Kagami’s apartment, because Kagami seems adamant on having Akashi experience “the childhood you were supposed to have when you were _five_ ,” as Kagami puts it) with a vague reason.

Kagami texts back within ten minutes with a plethora of unhappy emoticons, but replies that he understands and asks whether they can reschedule. Akashi makes something up to imply that he’ll be busy for a while, turns off his cell phone, and drowns himself in the therapeutic monotony of planning which business he’d like to forcibly incorporate into the Akashi Conglomerate and how.

Five days, two major acquisitions, and countless games of online shogi later, Akashi is reduced to sullenly organizing and cleaning the house to keep his mind occupied. First, he goes through the expensive silverware and the good dishes in the kitchen before methodically dusting everything in the foyer, barely paying attention as he brushes sculptures and the banister before taking a turn with the delicates.

Like that, Akashi accidentally breaks a vase. This would not be any large tragedy, except that this vase is no ordinary vase. It's the vase that was his mother's vase, and her mother's before her – the vase that he could (and did, in grade school) write poetry about, the vase that he treasures more than any other valuable in the house. In short: _the_ vase.

He sighs with disappointment as he stares at the porcelain shards lying on the ground – it could just be his imagination, but he almost thinks he can hear echoes of the vase breaking ringing through the house.

“Now even my hands can’t be trusted,” he says aloud.

Life continues to fail to live up to Akashi Seijuurou's admittedly very high expectations.

  
  


 

* * *

  
  


  
  


**FROM** : Akashi Seijuurou

 **TO** : [mailing list: GoM, etc.]; [mailing list: Rakuzan]

 **SUBJECT** : Read immediately.  
  


To all,

I have broken my favorite vase. I do not advise communicating with me for the time being unless you are in need of a favor that is as large as, say, getting somebody of jail. Right now I am extremely annoyed.

If any of you end up in jail, I will become even more annoyed.

Akashi Seijuurou.

  
  


  
  


**FROM** : Kagami Taiga

 **TO** : [mailing list: GoM, etc.]; [mailing list: Rakuzan]

 **SUBJECT** : Re: Read immediately.  
  


jesus frickin christ kuroko. how the hell have you put up with this since middle school?  
ok give me advice on how to comfort him. please

  
  


  
  


**FROM** : Aomine Daiki

 **TO** : [mailing list: GoM, etc.]

 **SUBJECT** : Re: Read immediately.  
  


LOL YA FUCKIN IDIOT KAGAMI YOU PRESSED REPLY ALL LMFAOOOO WOW YOU SERIOUSLY ARE A MORON

  
  


  
  


**FROM** : Kuroko Tetsuya

 **TO** : Akashi Seijuurou

 **SUBJECT** : (No subject)  
  


Akashi-kun,

Kagami-kun has asked me to inform you that his e-mail account was hacked.  
Unfortunately, this is a lie. Do with him what you will. However, for whatever it is worth, he seems genuinely very concerned about the situation.

The news about your vase is unfortunate. I hope you will recover from your loss soon.

Sincerely,  
Kuroko Tetsuya

  
  


  
  


**FROM** : Akashi Seijuurou

 **TO** : Kuroko Tetsuya

 **SUBJECT** : Re: (No subject)

Why do I feel as if I detect a modicum of sarcasm in your text?

— A.

  
  


 

 **FROM** : Kuroko Tetsuya

 **TO** : Akashi Seijuurou

 **SUBJECT** : Re: (No subject)

I believe you are imagining things, Akashi-kun.

Sincerely,  
Kuroko Tetsuya

  
  


  
  


**FROM** : Akashi Seijuurou

 **TO** : Kagami Taiga; Aomine Daiki

 **SUBJECT** : I won’t say it again.  
  


This is precisely what I was asking you to avoid doing when I said “I do not advise communicating with me for the time being unless you are in need of a favor that is as large as, say, getting somebody of jail. Right now I am extremely annoyed”.

— A.

  
  


  
  


**FROM** : Kagami Taiga

 **TO** : Akashi Seijuurou

 **SUBJECT** : Re: I won’t say it again.  
  


I’m really sorry, Akashi. I didn’t mean it. I know how much the vase means to you.

  
  


  
  


**FROM** : Aomine Daiki

 **TO** : Kagami Taiga; Akashi Seijuurou

 **SUBJECT** : Re: I won’t say it again.  
  


LOL KAGAMI. u gon die

  
  


  
  


**FROM** : Akashi Seijuurou

 **TO** : Aomine Daiki; Kagami Taiga

 **SUBJECT** : Re: I won’t say it again.  
  


I was referring to you as well, Aomine.

— A.

  
  


  
  


**FROM** : Aomine Daiki

 **TO** : Akashi Seijuurou; Kagami Taiga

 **SUBJECT** : Re: I won’t say it again.  
  


well fuck

  
  


  
  


* * *

  
  


  
  


Not five minutes after that unfortunate series of e-mail exchanges, Kagami calls him. Akashi is tempted to let it go to voicemail, but he can never write out the possibility that Kagami actually does need help, so he picks up after the fourth ring. “Kagami,” he says evenly.

“Did you keep the pieces?” Kagami asks immediately.

“The pieces of what,” Akashi replies, even though he knows he’s being obtuse.

“The vase,” Kagami says.

Akashi sighs. “I collected them, yes. But that is because I intend to throw them away.”

“Don’t throw them away,” Kagami says, sounding mildly breathless. “I’m gonna come over, alright? Don’t throw the pieces away.”

 _It’s just a vase_ , Akashi is tempted to reply, just to stop Kagami from continuing to talk about it, except it really isn’t _just_ a vase – it was his mother’s, one of the few keepsakes he has from her, an Eastern treasure in a mansion full of his father’s overtly Western tastes. More than just an object, it feels like a part of _him_ has broken into little pieces. “Something that has broken will never be whole again, Kagami,” Akashi replies, feeling strangely detached from himself, as if he is listening to somebody else speak through his body. “If it could still be used, that one be one thing. But this is different. It's shattered completely.”

“Don’t throw them away,” Kagami repeats for emphasis before hanging up.

True to his word, Kagami rings on the doorbell about half an hour later. Akashi raises an eyebrow when he answers. “Before you even ask, I’ve gathered the pieces and put them on the kitchen counter,” he says.

Kagami only pauses to take his shoes off before handing him a plain white box, made of thin paperboard. “Open it,” he says, so Akashi does. At the top, covering brushes and what look like little containers of gold lacquer, there’s a sheet of paper that he takes out to read:

_Kintsugi: the art of golden joinery -- when something is broken, it has history, and there is no shame in that. Joining the pieces together with gold illuminates the damage and makes it all the more strong and beautiful, having been broken._

“Kuroko put you up to this,” Akashi says – a statement, not a guess.

“Well, he kinda nudged me in this direction,” he admits. Akashi clutches the box hard and presses his lips together harder; Kagami rubs the back of his neck awkwardly, adding, “You don’t have to use it if you don’t want to.”

Akashi looks down and wonders if it’s the urge to laugh pressing down on his chest. “No, I’ll use it,” he finally says. “Something that’s been broken will never be whole again, but even so… you can use it if you repair it, I suppose. It is worth the effort, at least.” There’s a pause. “I’ll want your help, of course.”

“Of course,” Kagami replies, because it was never in question that he would give it.

  
  


  
  


* * *

  
  


  
  


The vase looks different after it’s put back together, but if pressed, Akashi would have to admit: perhaps it even looks better. They put it back where it belongs in the foyer and stand back to admire their handiwork.

“Kagami Taiga,” Akashi says, staring contemplatively at the vase -- the color of the golden joinery is a little off from the shade of the dragon, but it shines bright against its red. “I like your face. Please go out with me.”

Kagami turns towards him smiles as if he’s startled, but the expression is no less bright because of it.

 

**Author's Note:**

>  _The world breaks everyone and afterward many are strong at the broken places. But those that will not break it kills._  
>  \- Ernest Hemingway
> 
>  
> 
> Basically directly inspired by this:
> 
>  
> 
>   
> 


End file.
